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Thursday, May 6th, 2021 01:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hyojungssspoilers for rule of wolves by leigh bardugo (nikolai duology #2)
tbh this was a long, difficult read and i just powered through for the zoyalai. i think it took way too many words to get to the end point. there are just a ton of subplots i really dc about and never have. i don't even care about the main plot LOL and i think its so nice that the six of crows duology managed to bypass all this boring lore completely. honestly i dont even think the zoyalai was as potent as it COULD have been? like... as in i feel like instead of building up properly it kinda stays at the same level throughout this book until the The Moment. it all really doesn't hit as hard. maybe it's because i think the war storyline is so silly. and i dunno how i feel about the whole peace treaty thing it feels anticlimactic. actually i spoiled myself some weeks ago by accidentally googling zoya and the first wiki result blurb saying "zoya is the queen of ravka...." but it was neat that it ended up being her own role and not via marriage. still it's like.... they couldn't confess to each other because nikolai had the responsibility to marry some foreign girl as a diplomatic strategy but now that zoya is queen she doesn't have to do that? like you're missing the crucial loss of responsibility that resolves the duty vs love narrative. maybe i missed it?? also the soc cameos were so pointless i felt like i was watching shadow and bone.
all this said but u know what at the same time zoyalai still k1lls me it's so potent in the first place that even this is really good. nikolai being a besotted romantic ♡ zoya rejecting his confession in vain ♡ i would just never reread the actual books.
i'm also really upset that that happened to david like i dont understand why that needed to happen besides shock value. it just wasn't used well
3 NIKOLAI
Nikolai cut her a glance. She'd tied back her black hair with a dark blue ribbon. It was eminently practical, but it had the unfortunate effect of making him want to untie it.
9 ZOYA
At last she rose and turned down the lights.
"Don't go," he said, still half asleep.
"I have to bathe. I smell like a forest fire."
"You smell like wildflowers. You always do. What can I say to make you stay?" His words trailed off into a drowsy mumble as he fell back asleep.
Tell me it's more than war and worry that makes you speak those words. Tell me what they would mean if you weren't a king and I weren't a soldier. But she didn't want to hear any of that, not really. Sweet words and grand declarations were for other people, other lives.
She brushed the hair back from his face, placed a kiss on his forehead. "I would stay forever if I could," she whispered. He wouldn't remember anyway.
11 ZOYA
Some people were built for love and some were built for war. One did not lend itself to the other.
15 NIKOLAI
23 NIKOLAI
Because I am greedy for the sight of you.
[...]
"No matter the winter it endures, it blooms again and again."
"What if the winter is just too long and hard? What if it can't bloom again?"
[...]
"Then you'll be branches without blossoms," he whispered against her hair. "And you let the rest of us be strong until the summer comes."
"It wasn't a metaphor."
"Of course it wasn't."
27 NIKOLAI
[...]
Maybe she shouldn’t have asked to be reassigned to Os Kervo. She wanted to work with him for the future they both dreamed of. She wanted to build a peace with him. Even when he married, she could stay at the palace, serve by his side. That was the right choice, the noble one—and the thought of it made her feel like snatching a bottle of whiskey from the sideboard and downing the whole thing. It didn’t help that the idea of losing her hadn’t seemed to bother Nikolai a bit. That’s good, she told herself. That’s the way it should be. And what was there to lose, really? They were compatriots, friends; anything else was illusion, as cheap and false as the performances on East Stave.
30 NINA
"If you can love him, I'll find a way to let you go."
[...]
"Never let me go," Hanne whispered.
"Never," Nina said, and closed the distance between them, feeling the soft press of Hanne's mouth, the thin silk of her dress, this moment like light on water, brief and startling, blinding in its beauty.
31 NIKOLAI
Now Zoya's laugh was harsh. "But they don't really know me, do they?"
"I would choose you." The words were out before he thought better of them, and then there was no way to pull them back.
Silence stretched between them. Perhaps the floor will open and I'll plummet to my death, he thought hopefully.
"As your general?" Her voice careful. She was offering him a chance to right the ship, to take them back to familiar waters.
And a fine general you are.
There could be no better leader.
You may be prickly, but that's what Ravka needs.
So many easy replies.
[...]
"Because I'm a dependable soldier," she said, but she didn't sound sure. It was that same cautious, tentative voice, the voice of someone waiting for a punch line, or maybe a blow. "Because I know all your secrets."
[...]
"I would make you my queen because I want you. I want you all the time."
She rolled onto her side, resting her head on her folded arm. A small movement, but he could feel her breath now. His heart was racing. "As your general, I should tell you that would be a terrible decision."
He turned on his side. They were facing each other now. "As your king, I should tell you that no one could dissuade me. No prince and no power could make me stop wanting you."
[...]
She reached out, her fingers hovering over the coil of blue velvet ribbon resting in his palm.
Then she pulled back her hand, cradling her fingers as if they'd been singed.
[...]
Nikolai forced himself to smile. It wasn't as if he'd offered her a real proposal. They both knew such a thing was impossible. And yet her refusal smarted just as badly as if he'd gotten on his knee and offered her his hand like some kind of besotted fool. It stung. All Saints, it stung.
36 ZOYA
The memory was like drinking something sweet and poisonous. Even knowing the misery it would cause her, she couldn't stop craving the taste.
46 ZOYA
Nikolai knelt before her and reached for her hand.
"Stop doing that," she snapped. "Stop kneeling." But she didn't keep him from taking her hand.
[...]
"I suppose that's why I love you."
His eyes flew open and his face lit in an extraordinary grin. "All Saints, say it again."
"I will not."
"You must."
"I'm the queen. I must do nothing but please myself."
"Would it please you to kiss me?"
It would. And she did, drawing him up to her, feeling the stubble at his jaw, the soft curl of his hair behind his ear, and at last, after all these long days of wanting, his witty, brilliant, perfect mouth.
48 NIKOLAI
They weren’t married. They weren’t even engaged. He wanted to ask, but he wanted to court her first. Maybe build her something. A new invention, something lovely and useless and ill-suited to war. A music box or a mechanical fox, a folly for her garden. Part of him was certain that she would simply change her mind about him and that would be the end of it. He had wanted her for so long that it seemed impossible he should actually have her beside him every day, that he might lay down beside her every night. Not impossible, he supposed. Just improbable.
49 ZOYA
The plans had been bound with her blue velvet ribbon and accompanied by a note that read, I will always seek to make it summer for you.
COMMENTS
tbh this was a long, difficult read and i just powered through for the zoyalai. i think it took way too many words to get to the end point. there are just a ton of subplots i really dc about and never have. i don't even care about the main plot LOL and i think its so nice that the six of crows duology managed to bypass all this boring lore completely. honestly i dont even think the zoyalai was as potent as it COULD have been? like... as in i feel like instead of building up properly it kinda stays at the same level throughout this book until the The Moment. it all really doesn't hit as hard. maybe it's because i think the war storyline is so silly. and i dunno how i feel about the whole peace treaty thing it feels anticlimactic. actually i spoiled myself some weeks ago by accidentally googling zoya and the first wiki result blurb saying "zoya is the queen of ravka...." but it was neat that it ended up being her own role and not via marriage. still it's like.... they couldn't confess to each other because nikolai had the responsibility to marry some foreign girl as a diplomatic strategy but now that zoya is queen she doesn't have to do that? like you're missing the crucial loss of responsibility that resolves the duty vs love narrative. maybe i missed it?? also the soc cameos were so pointless i felt like i was watching shadow and bone.
all this said but u know what at the same time zoyalai still k1lls me it's so potent in the first place that even this is really good. nikolai being a besotted romantic ♡ zoya rejecting his confession in vain ♡ i would just never reread the actual books.
i'm also really upset that that happened to david like i dont understand why that needed to happen besides shock value. it just wasn't used well
LINES
3 NIKOLAI
Nikolai cut her a glance. She'd tied back her black hair with a dark blue ribbon. It was eminently practical, but it had the unfortunate effect of making him want to untie it.
9 ZOYA
At last she rose and turned down the lights.
"Don't go," he said, still half asleep.
"I have to bathe. I smell like a forest fire."
"You smell like wildflowers. You always do. What can I say to make you stay?" His words trailed off into a drowsy mumble as he fell back asleep.
Tell me it's more than war and worry that makes you speak those words. Tell me what they would mean if you weren't a king and I weren't a soldier. But she didn't want to hear any of that, not really. Sweet words and grand declarations were for other people, other lives.
She brushed the hair back from his face, placed a kiss on his forehead. "I would stay forever if I could," she whispered. He wouldn't remember anyway.
11 ZOYA
Some people were built for love and some were built for war. One did not lend itself to the other.
15 NIKOLAI
Nikolai knew David’s gesture had been learned. The Fabrikator wasn’t given to spontaneous demonstrations of affection, but they made his wife happy, and he loved to see his wife happy. Then David reached out and rubbed a piece of her silky red hair between his fingers. Genya blushed even more deeply.
“What are you doing?” she whispered.
“Studying something beautiful,” he said without the faintest hint of flattery, as if he truly were trying to find the formula for the woman before him.
“Stop making moon eyes at each other,” Nikolai said, not meaning a word of it. They deserved to be happy. Lucky bastards.
23 NIKOLAI
Because I am greedy for the sight of you.
[...]
"No matter the winter it endures, it blooms again and again."
"What if the winter is just too long and hard? What if it can't bloom again?"
[...]
"Then you'll be branches without blossoms," he whispered against her hair. "And you let the rest of us be strong until the summer comes."
"It wasn't a metaphor."
"Of course it wasn't."
27 NIKOLAI
She cast him a curious glance. “Could you do it? Give up the throne?”
“I don’t know. When you’ve wanted something so long, it’s hard to imagine a life without it.” He supposed he wasn’t just talking about Ravka.
Zoya stood a little straighter, all propriety. “Growing up means learning to go without.”
“What a depressing thought.”
“It’s not so bad. Starve long enough, you forget your hunger.”
He leaned closer. “If it’s so easy to lose your appetite, maybe you were never truly hungry at all.” She looked away, but not before he saw the faintest blush tinge her cheeks.
[...]
“Then we build that future together.”
“Together,” Zoya repeated. Her expression was troubled.
“What doomsaying is happening behind that gorgeous face, Nazyalensky?”
“If we survive the war … Once peace is struck, you should station me elsewhere.”
“I see,” he said, unwilling to show how much those words bothered him. “Did you have someplace in mind?”
28 ZOYAMaybe she shouldn’t have asked to be reassigned to Os Kervo. She wanted to work with him for the future they both dreamed of. She wanted to build a peace with him. Even when he married, she could stay at the palace, serve by his side. That was the right choice, the noble one—and the thought of it made her feel like snatching a bottle of whiskey from the sideboard and downing the whole thing. It didn’t help that the idea of losing her hadn’t seemed to bother Nikolai a bit. That’s good, she told herself. That’s the way it should be. And what was there to lose, really? They were compatriots, friends; anything else was illusion, as cheap and false as the performances on East Stave.
30 NINA
"If you can love him, I'll find a way to let you go."
[...]
"Never let me go," Hanne whispered.
"Never," Nina said, and closed the distance between them, feeling the soft press of Hanne's mouth, the thin silk of her dress, this moment like light on water, brief and startling, blinding in its beauty.
31 NIKOLAI
Now Zoya's laugh was harsh. "But they don't really know me, do they?"
"I would choose you." The words were out before he thought better of them, and then there was no way to pull them back.
Silence stretched between them. Perhaps the floor will open and I'll plummet to my death, he thought hopefully.
"As your general?" Her voice careful. She was offering him a chance to right the ship, to take them back to familiar waters.
And a fine general you are.
There could be no better leader.
You may be prickly, but that's what Ravka needs.
So many easy replies.
[...]
"Because I'm a dependable soldier," she said, but she didn't sound sure. It was that same cautious, tentative voice, the voice of someone waiting for a punch line, or maybe a blow. "Because I know all your secrets."
[...]
"I would make you my queen because I want you. I want you all the time."
She rolled onto her side, resting her head on her folded arm. A small movement, but he could feel her breath now. His heart was racing. "As your general, I should tell you that would be a terrible decision."
He turned on his side. They were facing each other now. "As your king, I should tell you that no one could dissuade me. No prince and no power could make me stop wanting you."
[...]
She reached out, her fingers hovering over the coil of blue velvet ribbon resting in his palm.
Then she pulled back her hand, cradling her fingers as if they'd been singed.
[...]
Nikolai forced himself to smile. It wasn't as if he'd offered her a real proposal. They both knew such a thing was impossible. And yet her refusal smarted just as badly as if he'd gotten on his knee and offered her his hand like some kind of besotted fool. It stung. All Saints, it stung.
36 ZOYA
The memory was like drinking something sweet and poisonous. Even knowing the misery it would cause her, she couldn't stop craving the taste.
46 ZOYA
Nikolai knelt before her and reached for her hand.
"Stop doing that," she snapped. "Stop kneeling." But she didn't keep him from taking her hand.
[...]
"I suppose that's why I love you."
His eyes flew open and his face lit in an extraordinary grin. "All Saints, say it again."
"I will not."
"You must."
"I'm the queen. I must do nothing but please myself."
"Would it please you to kiss me?"
It would. And she did, drawing him up to her, feeling the stubble at his jaw, the soft curl of his hair behind his ear, and at last, after all these long days of wanting, his witty, brilliant, perfect mouth.
48 NIKOLAI
They weren’t married. They weren’t even engaged. He wanted to ask, but he wanted to court her first. Maybe build her something. A new invention, something lovely and useless and ill-suited to war. A music box or a mechanical fox, a folly for her garden. Part of him was certain that she would simply change her mind about him and that would be the end of it. He had wanted her for so long that it seemed impossible he should actually have her beside him every day, that he might lay down beside her every night. Not impossible, he supposed. Just improbable.
49 ZOYA
The plans had been bound with her blue velvet ribbon and accompanied by a note that read, I will always seek to make it summer for you.