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17hols fills 2022: round 1
originally posted for 17hols 2022 round 1: quotes
prompts left for others to fill:
#1 - 459w
cabin lights dimmed - junhui/minghao - canon
Prompt:
prompts left for others to fill:
- wanted to pull me closer [2 fills]
- dancing in a downpour [1 fill]
- zero signs of kismet [1 fill]
- maybe we could all have dinner together [3 fills]
- i will not have you [1 fill]
- the wider you set your sights, the less you look up at the sky [1 fill]
- is it still a lie if you know it's not true [1 fill]
- cabin lights dimmed - junhui/minghao - canon - 459w
- imitation - nayoung/jeonghan - canon - 835w [1 remix]
- endgame - wonwoo/mingyu - canon - 655w
#1 - 459w
cabin lights dimmed - junhui/minghao - canon
Prompt:
陪伴是最长情的告白
companionship is the longest confession
Additional Tags: more than one place (or person) can be home, set sept 2021A/N: I actually hate to be the third fill on a prompt but how can I not be when this speaks so much to me. ♡
***
“Aren’t you afraid whenever you leave everything you know?” Junhui asks softly, suddenly.
Minghao stirs from across the aisle, blanket sliding off his knees. “I wasn’t asleep or anything,” he says over the hum of the air circulation system. He turns to Junhui, who’s curled up on his side, watching him.
“Oh, I know.” Close enough to see, even without his glasses, even with his terrible vision. “I know your breathing patterns,” Junhui says, impossibly.
(“I couldn’t bear to be that far from you,” Junhui’d joked when Minghao had suggested he take the seat on the left side of the plane. Junhui took the center and the attendant had to move someone else to keep the aircraft weight balance.)
“I’m never afraid because I know I’ll come back to them,” Minghao answers.
“I always love the conviction in your voice,” Junhui murmurs.
Sometimes it feels like all Minghao has to offer him.
“You should sleep too,” he urges after a moment.
“I can’t,” Junhui says, rolling over in his chair and letting his frustration out on the armrest. “I’m thinking about how Mingyu is probably thinking about us now. He always looks so sad when we go but he looked extra sad today. Even Wonwoo...”
“Oh, don’t torture yourself like this,” Minghao complains. He’s tried to forget about Mingyu already and it almost worked too. “I don’t understand you, you’re always so excited to go and then when you have this quiet time to yourself you overthink everything. Mingyu will get over us. Mingyu has separation anxiety.”
“That’s so easy for you to say.”
“It IS easy,” Minghao states. “I know it’s true. You have people waiting for you at home — whether that home today is your family or your members. Either way it is a return waiting to happen. And you’ll always be able to go back again, and look forward to doing so.”
“Not if I die in the sky,” Junhui says thoughtfully. “What will they do then? I’d have to complete the last journey first, I suppose.”
Minghao glares at him. “I try so hard to—”
“Yes, yes, we all know I’d be nowhere without you,” Junhui says dismissively, and turns back around to face the empty seat on the other side of the plane. The thing about Junhui is he’s incapable of making jokes of grand statements that don’t stem from truth. He flicks off his reading light as if he’d needed it in the first place, Minghao was the one who’d loaded his satchel with paperbacks. “I’ll go to sleep now.”
“It’s okay to miss them,” Minghao says at last. “I don’t mean to say you shouldn’t.”
“I know,” Junhui tells him, voice warm. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”
***
#2 - 835w
imitation - nayoung/jeonghan - canon - 835w
Prompt:
***
“Aren’t you afraid whenever you leave everything you know?” Junhui asks softly, suddenly.
Minghao stirs from across the aisle, blanket sliding off his knees. “I wasn’t asleep or anything,” he says over the hum of the air circulation system. He turns to Junhui, who’s curled up on his side, watching him.
“Oh, I know.” Close enough to see, even without his glasses, even with his terrible vision. “I know your breathing patterns,” Junhui says, impossibly.
(“I couldn’t bear to be that far from you,” Junhui’d joked when Minghao had suggested he take the seat on the left side of the plane. Junhui took the center and the attendant had to move someone else to keep the aircraft weight balance.)
“I’m never afraid because I know I’ll come back to them,” Minghao answers.
“I always love the conviction in your voice,” Junhui murmurs.
Sometimes it feels like all Minghao has to offer him.
“You should sleep too,” he urges after a moment.
“I can’t,” Junhui says, rolling over in his chair and letting his frustration out on the armrest. “I’m thinking about how Mingyu is probably thinking about us now. He always looks so sad when we go but he looked extra sad today. Even Wonwoo...”
“Oh, don’t torture yourself like this,” Minghao complains. He’s tried to forget about Mingyu already and it almost worked too. “I don’t understand you, you’re always so excited to go and then when you have this quiet time to yourself you overthink everything. Mingyu will get over us. Mingyu has separation anxiety.”
“That’s so easy for you to say.”
“It IS easy,” Minghao states. “I know it’s true. You have people waiting for you at home — whether that home today is your family or your members. Either way it is a return waiting to happen. And you’ll always be able to go back again, and look forward to doing so.”
“Not if I die in the sky,” Junhui says thoughtfully. “What will they do then? I’d have to complete the last journey first, I suppose.”
Minghao glares at him. “I try so hard to—”
“Yes, yes, we all know I’d be nowhere without you,” Junhui says dismissively, and turns back around to face the empty seat on the other side of the plane. The thing about Junhui is he’s incapable of making jokes of grand statements that don’t stem from truth. He flicks off his reading light as if he’d needed it in the first place, Minghao was the one who’d loaded his satchel with paperbacks. “I’ll go to sleep now.”
“It’s okay to miss them,” Minghao says at last. “I don’t mean to say you shouldn’t.”
“I know,” Junhui tells him, voice warm. “I just wanted to hear you say it.”
***
#2 - 835w
imitation - nayoung/jeonghan - canon - 835w
Prompt:
You think I'm so cruel
But I'm just doing all the things that you do
- TWICE, Cruel
Additional Tags: i’m crazy but i’m free, idolverseA/N: look... i know this is a seventeen fest however,
***
Jeonghan dated Seungcheol for three months and immediately following that Nayoung went and dated him for four. “I think it was out of spite,” she concluded after explaining to Jiyeon that it wasn’t ever much of a passionate affair. “He was really nice to me, though. Which I think makes him a much better person than I am.”
“It’s hard to be a good girl all the time,” Jiyeon said, smiling over her coffee. She spoke with a sort of resignation that six or seven additional years of industry experience necessitated. “You have to take the little victories, right?”
Nayoung nodded. “I’m glad I have you to talk to, unnie,” she said, sipping her iced tea and looking out the window. It was a dreary summer day and their drama series was doing absolutely terrible in the ratings.
-
Nayoung thought it would be much easier to simply cut off all her old attachments and start over, but unfortunately there was still a bit of sentiment in her. The only answer to this was compartmentalization.
“Things I need here, things that go in the garbage in that box,” she said, directing Yerin to half-formed piles of papers and photos on the floor of her room.
“This is an organized mess,” Yerin observed. “I bet no one could tell you’re supposed to be moving out in two days.”
“Thank you,” Nayoung answered, and continued unloading old junk out of her closet.
Heehyun wouldn’t be there until the afternoon, which was probably better because she had a much deeper understanding of Nayoung’s lingering feelings. With Yerin it was easier to reply to “Do you want to keep this?” with a no after a half-second glance and leave it at that, where Heehyun, who had lived through that era of her life with her, would say, “Are you really sure you want to let go of this?” and it’d be something like an autographed album from some no-name rookie group she’d exchanged with during her third debut promotion cycle, and of course she didn’t want to keep it but now that she’s had to think about it for so long maybe she does have second thoughts.
And that still counted as one of the easy choices.
“This is trash?” Yerin asked. She held a jeweled flower hair clip in her hand. “It’s so pretty, I’ll take it if you don’t want it.”
“Why are you going through the trash pile,” Nayoung despaired. “And no, I want it.”
-
Seungcheol had said yes to her, which was all she needed. He’d do the rest of the work on his own. And she only had to last four months.
-
Yerin missed the torn envelope and note she’d kept with it all these years, and tried to toss away with it too. The clip stayed in her accessories box until Nayoung unpacked it again months later, having already decided to leave her hair down for the day. “Use this,” she asked her hair stylist later that morning, when she was preparing to film for a magazine. There would be a video component uploaded on the internet, but by that point she knew they would already have changed the look to something else.
The photoshoot director really liked the design though, and asked Nayoung to keep it on anyway.
-
Yoon Jeonghan showed up at her metaphorical doorstep the next month, which is to say he clearly actively sought her out. “I’m collaborating with Choi Youngjae,” he said, when she saw him in the agency lobby with an iced Americano in hand and gave the blankest look possible.
“No you’re not,” Nayoung said, and Jeonghan shrugged.
“I wanted to see Hani-sunbaenim,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.
“That’s slightly more believable.”
“I’m looking for an acting agency.”
She blinked. “Wow, I really hope you’re not. You’d be scary at acting.”
“Scary good at it,” Jeonghan said with a grin. Nayoung was suddenly aware that the staff she’d been working with for years were watching them as they got their own coffees and it was really very humiliating.
“I can’t be seen with you,” she said, half-honest. “You shouldn’t be loitering in someone else’s workplace.”
“It’s not just your workplace, you know,” he said. Nayoung didn’t respond. “In all seriousness, I’m waiting for my manager to get back from the bathroom. I really am here to be in talks for some end-of-year collaboration thing with Youngjae. Junnie made him eat something spicy this morning and I think he’s still feeling the aftereffects.”
“That doesn’t actually surprise me. I think you’ve always masked your real intentions by putting them forward first,” Nayoung said. I don’t miss that, she didn’t say, having those types of schedules.
Jeonghan smiled again, the rewards of knowing and being known.
“And you’ve always been good at reading through them, no matter what trick I tried.”
“I learned from the best,” she said simply.
“I think you were good enough at it before we started dating,” Jeonghan replied.
***
#3 - 655w
endgame - wonwoo/mingyu - canon - 655w
Prompt:
***
WONWOO: My personality changing a lot is the other members’ and especially Mingyu’s fault.
MINGYU: For me— that’s not when you say fault. Here you should say, “It’s thanks to Mingyu.”
WONWOO: It’s because I’m shy.
MINGYU: Fault means you’re faulting someone.
210604
*
The first time he said it Mingyu was taken aback and all too quiet on the way home. Wonwoo noticed and said next to him in the back of the car, It was getting to be too much for me. That made Mingyu even sadder, which he tried to hide but he did a poor job of it. Wonwoo was rarely the type to snap but Mingyu earned it from him more than any of the others. Wonwoo told him after a few minutes, It’s what they like to hear, and Mingyu turned his head away and stared out the window at the passing lights. They’ll get bored if there’s no conflict, Wonwoo said.
I don’t believe you, Mingyu told him.
Fine, Wonwoo said back. Their voices receded into the background of Soonyoung’s karaoke in the middle seat and Seokmin’s singing from the front, a sharp divide in mood that only half the van was conscious of. Wonwoo would apologize and tell him later It’s because you’re so kind and understanding.
It’s hard to tell if you should make an effort to change yourself after a comment like that.
*
Wonwoo can be right without being courteous about it. “You’re a bit foolish,” Myungho told him one day after that at the kitchen table, still a few months after they’d debuted together. Mingyu’s first instinct back then was to take offense. Myungho shook his head. “I’m not being mean, I swear.” Even though they were still prone to miscommunication, Mingyu felt at that moment Myungho was more honest towards him than Wonwoo had been for the past eight months. “You love him so much. Don’t you think Wonwoo hyung is too cruel to you?”
Mingyu had too much pride to say Of course I do.
“It’s his way of expressing himself,” Mingyu said, idly playing with the clicking mechanism of a ballpoint pen. The ceiling light flickered above them, casting shadows and then leaving them in the dark. And like he wanted to sign his own death sentence, he continued, “I forgive him for it.”
*
But at the end of the day Mingyu has never known how to keep his feelings to himself.
You called me out for a reason, Wonwoo said after Mingyu’d stood in front of him for ten minutes, lost on how to say what he means and be heard for it at the same time. It’s cold, aren’t you cold?
I am cold, Mingyu said, but he couldn’t help but feel like that applied to Wonwoo more, and he was just agreeing with him for the sake of it. Wonwoo put on a thin jacket like he hadn’t meant to stay out for that long. So really it was his own mistake.
Well?
I’m tired, Mingyu told him. And you’re too impatient.
We could talk inside, Wonwoo proposed.
No, Mingyu said immediately and adamantly. There are too many people watching.
Does it matter that much?
I’m not doing it for me, Mingyu said. That’s for you.
Wonwoo just looked at him for a long time.
You care so much about other people, Mingyu told him, that it makes me sad. Why does it affect everything you do? I miss when you weren’t like this.
Maybe because Mingyu was so blunt for once Wonwoo was more inclined towards benevolence.
I always cared about the cameras, he said. It was your fault that I had to care so much.
What the fuck?
You’re terrible at acting, you know? Wonwoo said. We don’t stop working when we go home, you know. We never stop working. Once you signed the contract and went up on stage that decision was made, you can never go back. And you can’t turn your feelings off and back on again.
I don’t understand.
Wonwoo laughed, not unkindly. He almost looked sad about it. Don’t you think we’re a bad idea?
*
Myungho would tell him years later that was a confession.
***
Jeonghan dated Seungcheol for three months and immediately following that Nayoung went and dated him for four. “I think it was out of spite,” she concluded after explaining to Jiyeon that it wasn’t ever much of a passionate affair. “He was really nice to me, though. Which I think makes him a much better person than I am.”
“It’s hard to be a good girl all the time,” Jiyeon said, smiling over her coffee. She spoke with a sort of resignation that six or seven additional years of industry experience necessitated. “You have to take the little victories, right?”
Nayoung nodded. “I’m glad I have you to talk to, unnie,” she said, sipping her iced tea and looking out the window. It was a dreary summer day and their drama series was doing absolutely terrible in the ratings.
-
Nayoung thought it would be much easier to simply cut off all her old attachments and start over, but unfortunately there was still a bit of sentiment in her. The only answer to this was compartmentalization.
“Things I need here, things that go in the garbage in that box,” she said, directing Yerin to half-formed piles of papers and photos on the floor of her room.
“This is an organized mess,” Yerin observed. “I bet no one could tell you’re supposed to be moving out in two days.”
“Thank you,” Nayoung answered, and continued unloading old junk out of her closet.
Heehyun wouldn’t be there until the afternoon, which was probably better because she had a much deeper understanding of Nayoung’s lingering feelings. With Yerin it was easier to reply to “Do you want to keep this?” with a no after a half-second glance and leave it at that, where Heehyun, who had lived through that era of her life with her, would say, “Are you really sure you want to let go of this?” and it’d be something like an autographed album from some no-name rookie group she’d exchanged with during her third debut promotion cycle, and of course she didn’t want to keep it but now that she’s had to think about it for so long maybe she does have second thoughts.
And that still counted as one of the easy choices.
“This is trash?” Yerin asked. She held a jeweled flower hair clip in her hand. “It’s so pretty, I’ll take it if you don’t want it.”
“Why are you going through the trash pile,” Nayoung despaired. “And no, I want it.”
-
Seungcheol had said yes to her, which was all she needed. He’d do the rest of the work on his own. And she only had to last four months.
-
Yerin missed the torn envelope and note she’d kept with it all these years, and tried to toss away with it too. The clip stayed in her accessories box until Nayoung unpacked it again months later, having already decided to leave her hair down for the day. “Use this,” she asked her hair stylist later that morning, when she was preparing to film for a magazine. There would be a video component uploaded on the internet, but by that point she knew they would already have changed the look to something else.
The photoshoot director really liked the design though, and asked Nayoung to keep it on anyway.
-
Yoon Jeonghan showed up at her metaphorical doorstep the next month, which is to say he clearly actively sought her out. “I’m collaborating with Choi Youngjae,” he said, when she saw him in the agency lobby with an iced Americano in hand and gave the blankest look possible.
“No you’re not,” Nayoung said, and Jeonghan shrugged.
“I wanted to see Hani-sunbaenim,” he said, and she rolled her eyes.
“That’s slightly more believable.”
“I’m looking for an acting agency.”
She blinked. “Wow, I really hope you’re not. You’d be scary at acting.”
“Scary good at it,” Jeonghan said with a grin. Nayoung was suddenly aware that the staff she’d been working with for years were watching them as they got their own coffees and it was really very humiliating.
“I can’t be seen with you,” she said, half-honest. “You shouldn’t be loitering in someone else’s workplace.”
“It’s not just your workplace, you know,” he said. Nayoung didn’t respond. “In all seriousness, I’m waiting for my manager to get back from the bathroom. I really am here to be in talks for some end-of-year collaboration thing with Youngjae. Junnie made him eat something spicy this morning and I think he’s still feeling the aftereffects.”
“That doesn’t actually surprise me. I think you’ve always masked your real intentions by putting them forward first,” Nayoung said. I don’t miss that, she didn’t say, having those types of schedules.
Jeonghan smiled again, the rewards of knowing and being known.
“And you’ve always been good at reading through them, no matter what trick I tried.”
“I learned from the best,” she said simply.
“I think you were good enough at it before we started dating,” Jeonghan replied.
***
#3 - 655w
endgame - wonwoo/mingyu - canon - 655w
Prompt:
Being unwise enough to have married her
I never knew when she was not acting.
‘I love you’ she would say; I heard the audiences
Sigh. ‘I hate you’; I could never be sure
They were still there.
— R. S. Thomas, Acting
Additional Tags: idolverse, 2015 ish... don’t scrutinize the timeline please, repressed jeononu = 17hols main characterA/N: don’t get me wrong i’m minwon 2021 truther!!! (we haven’t seen mw 2022 yet)
***
WONWOO: My personality changing a lot is the other members’ and especially Mingyu’s fault.
MINGYU: For me— that’s not when you say fault. Here you should say, “It’s thanks to Mingyu.”
WONWOO: It’s because I’m shy.
MINGYU: Fault means you’re faulting someone.
210604
*
The first time he said it Mingyu was taken aback and all too quiet on the way home. Wonwoo noticed and said next to him in the back of the car, It was getting to be too much for me. That made Mingyu even sadder, which he tried to hide but he did a poor job of it. Wonwoo was rarely the type to snap but Mingyu earned it from him more than any of the others. Wonwoo told him after a few minutes, It’s what they like to hear, and Mingyu turned his head away and stared out the window at the passing lights. They’ll get bored if there’s no conflict, Wonwoo said.
I don’t believe you, Mingyu told him.
Fine, Wonwoo said back. Their voices receded into the background of Soonyoung’s karaoke in the middle seat and Seokmin’s singing from the front, a sharp divide in mood that only half the van was conscious of. Wonwoo would apologize and tell him later It’s because you’re so kind and understanding.
It’s hard to tell if you should make an effort to change yourself after a comment like that.
*
Wonwoo can be right without being courteous about it. “You’re a bit foolish,” Myungho told him one day after that at the kitchen table, still a few months after they’d debuted together. Mingyu’s first instinct back then was to take offense. Myungho shook his head. “I’m not being mean, I swear.” Even though they were still prone to miscommunication, Mingyu felt at that moment Myungho was more honest towards him than Wonwoo had been for the past eight months. “You love him so much. Don’t you think Wonwoo hyung is too cruel to you?”
Mingyu had too much pride to say Of course I do.
“It’s his way of expressing himself,” Mingyu said, idly playing with the clicking mechanism of a ballpoint pen. The ceiling light flickered above them, casting shadows and then leaving them in the dark. And like he wanted to sign his own death sentence, he continued, “I forgive him for it.”
*
But at the end of the day Mingyu has never known how to keep his feelings to himself.
You called me out for a reason, Wonwoo said after Mingyu’d stood in front of him for ten minutes, lost on how to say what he means and be heard for it at the same time. It’s cold, aren’t you cold?
I am cold, Mingyu said, but he couldn’t help but feel like that applied to Wonwoo more, and he was just agreeing with him for the sake of it. Wonwoo put on a thin jacket like he hadn’t meant to stay out for that long. So really it was his own mistake.
Well?
I’m tired, Mingyu told him. And you’re too impatient.
We could talk inside, Wonwoo proposed.
No, Mingyu said immediately and adamantly. There are too many people watching.
Does it matter that much?
I’m not doing it for me, Mingyu said. That’s for you.
Wonwoo just looked at him for a long time.
You care so much about other people, Mingyu told him, that it makes me sad. Why does it affect everything you do? I miss when you weren’t like this.
Maybe because Mingyu was so blunt for once Wonwoo was more inclined towards benevolence.
I always cared about the cameras, he said. It was your fault that I had to care so much.
What the fuck?
You’re terrible at acting, you know? Wonwoo said. We don’t stop working when we go home, you know. We never stop working. Once you signed the contract and went up on stage that decision was made, you can never go back. And you can’t turn your feelings off and back on again.
I don’t understand.
Wonwoo laughed, not unkindly. He almost looked sad about it. Don’t you think we’re a bad idea?
*
Myungho would tell him years later that was a confession.