a/n: warning for mentions of death and blood but no one really dies or there's any real blood lol. also there's barely any acting-related stuff in this but just know they're all actresses. title from doomsday by lizzy mcalpine.
It’s a mistake, the first time it happens.
Seohyun is stressed and tired and all she wants to do is grab her car and leave this club, but she can’t—not when it’s Tiffany’s birthday, not when they haven’t seen each other in almost a year.
So she stays. Pretty, polite, polished. Barely touches the glass of champagne Sooyoung hands her. “You should pick up smoking,” Hyoyeon says jokingly, takes one last drag before she abandons the cigarette in the ashtray. “It will be good for you.”
Seohyun, without missing a beat, declares, “That thing will kill you.”
Which is ironic, Seohyun realizes later, when Yoona approaches her like a fox lured by the smell of her prey, claiming she forgot her chapstick and needed to borrow hers. She knew it was a lie, a cheap excuse to get close to her, but still. She decided to play Yoona’s game, just for one night.
“I’ve been wanting this for so long,” Yoona confesses later, when her face is between Seohyun’s legs, the victorious grin dancing on her lips confirming her words. Seohyun doesn’t tell her anything back—barely has time to, because Yoona dives in and she forgets she needs to wake up at five in the morning, forgets she has to film with the asshole she calls a co-star, forgets she shouldn’t be giving herself to Yoona like this.
Not this easily, at least.
When it’s over, they don’t kiss. Nor do they talk about what that means for their friendship, if it means something to Yoona at all. To be honest, the only confirmation that Seohyun isn’t going insane and didn’t imagine the whole thing are the hickeys spread all over her neck and thighs, the reflection of her bruised skin mocking her in the mirror.
Never again, Seohyun tells herself the morning after, applies makeup over the purple marks, and in a matter of minutes it’s like Yoona never sunk her teeth into her, never drew more blood than she should’ve.
Pretty, polite, polished. She’ll be fine. She always is.
+
Seohyun could label the other times as mistakes, sure, but she’s never been too good at lying to herself.
It would always happen at group gatherings—Yuri’s birthday, the premiere of Sooyoung’s new movie, Taeyeon and Tiffany’s wedding. Yoona never invited Seohyun over to her apartment, or to the movies, or anything like that. It was as if they were complete strangers the second their friends weren’t around.
Sunny, bless her heart, tried to warn Seohyun once, when they were spending the summer at Hyoyeon’s beach house. “Yoona, she’s—she’s not for you. Just—don’t hurt yourself, okay?”
And she should’ve listened. But later that same day she let Yoona rip her clothes apart and fuck her underneath a waterfall while the rest of their friends were asleep. God, why didn’t she listen?
That thing will kill you, her own words echo in her mind, begging her to do something, anything, about the miserable situation she dragged herself into. Instead, she lets Yoona sit beside her on the couch, lets her rest her head on her legs, and shivers pathetically when Yoona grabs her hand and says, “Your nails are too long, Seohyun-ah. We should fix it.”
+
It wasn’t all bad, the moments she shared with Yoona. Short-lived, sure, but not bad.
The more they find themselves in a situation similar to the one during Tiffany’s birthday party, the nicer Yoona was about it. Sometimes she'd even stay in bed with Seohyun and they would talk—not about what they were doing, no, but it was nice, still.
She even opened up to Yoona about her nightmare of a co-star, how he'd treat her like she was nothing, like she didn't deserve to be there. How she'd take a deep breath, keep her chin up, and try to ignore how much his behavior bothered her.
Yoona said she'd kill him for Seohyun, all she had to do was ask and she'd pull the trigger. It was lovely, in a twisted way—she had no idea she had someone else's blood in her hands already.
It's those little things, those moments of bliss, that makes it harder for Seohyun to call it quits. If Yoona was kinder, if she cared just a little bit, she’d be cruel to Seohyun. She’d shove her into a wall and tell her how much of a pathetic freak she is and make this whole thing easier.
Yoona called me awful things, she could tell their friends, and they'd hold her as she sobs her heart out. Sunny would be the nicest about it, even though she was the one to warn her all those months ago. Hyoyeon would be angry, seething, excusing herself every twenty minutes to go to the balcony and light a cigarette.
That thing will kill you, would hang on the tip of Seohyun's tongue, but she wouldn't dare to utter it out loud. Gone are the days where she could judge Hyoyeon—or anyone, for that matter—for not caring about their own well being.
She dragged herself into this, didn't she?
She'll have to drag herself out of it, then.
+
Seohyun is in the middle of Yuri’s annual Halloween party when she decides it's time.
She already said goodbye to her friends, an excuse about how she has to wake up early for filming the next day flowing out of her mouth with ease when Tiffany begs her to stay a little longer. She rushes through the crowd of strangers, barely apologizing when she stumbles against a few of them on her way out, desperate to leave that place as fast as she can because if Yoona sees her trying to leave without saying goodbye she’ll follow her outside, and god knows that if Yoona takes her hand in hers and asks her to go upstairs she won’t have the strength to tell her no.
Seohyun unlocks her car, slides in, and rests her forehead over the steering wheel. Her entire body is shaking, her throat is closing up, and she thinks she might actually draw blood if she doesn’t stop gripping her thighs like that.
Being mean is not Seohyun’s strongest suit, but she figures that if Yoona isn’t going to play that part, it’s her duty to do so.
Seohyun won’t die for Yoona, or for whatever it is that she feels for her. She refuses to.
So she grabs her phone, prays that she’s doing the right thing, and starts typing.
seohyun • 11:11 pm don’t talk to me ever again actually, forget i ever existed
yoona • 11:12 pm yah are you out of your mind? seohyun-ah how could i? how could i ever?
Seohyun takes a deep breath, turns her phone off. She might crash and kill someone—or herself—if she gets another text from Yoona while she's on the road.
She fixes her hair in the rearview mirror, hands a generous amount of money to the guard that opens the gates for her and finally starts to make her way out of the parking lot. Out of Yoona's life.
Pretty, polite, polished. She’ll be fine. She always is.
doomsday (death of me) – yoona/seohyun – actresses au
title from doomsday by lizzy mcalpine.
It’s a mistake, the first time it happens.
Seohyun is stressed and tired and all she wants to do is grab her car and leave this club, but she can’t—not when it’s Tiffany’s birthday, not when they haven’t seen each other in almost a year.
So she stays. Pretty, polite, polished. Barely touches the glass of champagne Sooyoung hands her. “You should pick up smoking,” Hyoyeon says jokingly, takes one last drag before she abandons the cigarette in the ashtray. “It will be good for you.”
Seohyun, without missing a beat, declares, “That thing will kill you.”
Which is ironic, Seohyun realizes later, when Yoona approaches her like a fox lured by the smell of her prey, claiming she forgot her chapstick and needed to borrow hers. She knew it was a lie, a cheap excuse to get close to her, but still. She decided to play Yoona’s game, just for one night.
“I’ve been wanting this for so long,” Yoona confesses later, when her face is between Seohyun’s legs, the victorious grin dancing on her lips confirming her words. Seohyun doesn’t tell her anything back—barely has time to, because Yoona dives in and she forgets she needs to wake up at five in the morning, forgets she has to film with the asshole she calls a co-star, forgets she shouldn’t be giving herself to Yoona like this.
Not this easily, at least.
When it’s over, they don’t kiss. Nor do they talk about what that means for their friendship, if it means something to Yoona at all. To be honest, the only confirmation that Seohyun isn’t going insane and didn’t imagine the whole thing are the hickeys spread all over her neck and thighs, the reflection of her bruised skin mocking her in the mirror.
Never again, Seohyun tells herself the morning after, applies makeup over the purple marks, and in a matter of minutes it’s like Yoona never sunk her teeth into her, never drew more blood than she should’ve.
Pretty, polite, polished. She’ll be fine. She always is.
Seohyun could label the other times as mistakes, sure, but she’s never been too good at lying to herself.
It would always happen at group gatherings—Yuri’s birthday, the premiere of Sooyoung’s new movie, Taeyeon and Tiffany’s wedding. Yoona never invited Seohyun over to her apartment, or to the movies, or anything like that. It was as if they were complete strangers the second their friends weren’t around.
Sunny, bless her heart, tried to warn Seohyun once, when they were spending the summer at Hyoyeon’s beach house. “Yoona, she’s—she’s not for you. Just—don’t hurt yourself, okay?”
And she should’ve listened. But later that same day she let Yoona rip her clothes apart and fuck her underneath a waterfall while the rest of their friends were asleep. God, why didn’t she listen?
That thing will kill you, her own words echo in her mind, begging her to do something, anything, about the miserable situation she dragged herself into. Instead, she lets Yoona sit beside her on the couch, lets her rest her head on her legs, and shivers pathetically when Yoona grabs her hand and says, “Your nails are too long, Seohyun-ah. We should fix it.”
It wasn’t all bad, the moments she shared with Yoona. Short-lived, sure, but not bad.
The more they find themselves in a situation similar to the one during Tiffany’s birthday party, the nicer Yoona was about it. Sometimes she'd even stay in bed with Seohyun and they would talk—not about what they were doing, no, but it was nice, still.
She even opened up to Yoona about her nightmare of a co-star, how he'd treat her like she was nothing, like she didn't deserve to be there. How she'd take a deep breath, keep her chin up, and try to ignore how much his behavior bothered her.
Yoona said she'd kill him for Seohyun, all she had to do was ask and she'd pull the trigger. It was lovely, in a twisted way—she had no idea she had someone else's blood in her hands already.
It's those little things, those moments of bliss, that makes it harder for Seohyun to call it quits. If Yoona was kinder, if she cared just a little bit, she’d be cruel to Seohyun. She’d shove her into a wall and tell her how much of a pathetic freak she is and make this whole thing easier.
Yoona called me awful things, she could tell their friends, and they'd hold her as she sobs her heart out. Sunny would be the nicest about it, even though she was the one to warn her all those months ago. Hyoyeon would be angry, seething, excusing herself every twenty minutes to go to the balcony and light a cigarette.
That thing will kill you, would hang on the tip of Seohyun's tongue, but she wouldn't dare to utter it out loud. Gone are the days where she could judge Hyoyeon—or anyone, for that matter—for not caring about their own well being.
She dragged herself into this, didn't she?
She'll have to drag herself out of it, then.
Seohyun is in the middle of Yuri’s annual Halloween party when she decides it's time.
She already said goodbye to her friends, an excuse about how she has to wake up early for filming the next day flowing out of her mouth with ease when Tiffany begs her to stay a little longer. She rushes through the crowd of strangers, barely apologizing when she stumbles against a few of them on her way out, desperate to leave that place as fast as she can because if Yoona sees her trying to leave without saying goodbye she’ll follow her outside, and god knows that if Yoona takes her hand in hers and asks her to go upstairs she won’t have the strength to tell her no.
Seohyun unlocks her car, slides in, and rests her forehead over the steering wheel. Her entire body is shaking, her throat is closing up, and she thinks she might actually draw blood if she doesn’t stop gripping her thighs like that.
Being mean is not Seohyun’s strongest suit, but she figures that if Yoona isn’t going to play that part, it’s her duty to do so.
Seohyun won’t die for Yoona, or for whatever it is that she feels for her. She refuses to.
So she grabs her phone, prays that she’s doing the right thing, and starts typing.
seohyun • 11:11 pm
don’t talk to me ever again
actually, forget i ever existed
yoona • 11:12 pm
yah
are you out of your mind?
seohyun-ah
how could i?
how could i ever?
Seohyun takes a deep breath, turns her phone off. She might crash and kill someone—or herself—if she gets another text from Yoona while she's on the road.
She fixes her hair in the rearview mirror, hands a generous amount of money to the guard that opens the gates for her and finally starts to make her way out of the parking lot. Out of Yoona's life.
Pretty, polite, polished. She’ll be fine. She always is.