re: choi seungcheol and the idea of love

[hyojungss]

haengseol x-post, these are much easier to find since they are on an unlocked acc but i feel this one is most relevant to the feelings i usually talk about on locked

welcome to csc twtlongers with risa... feel free to unsubscribe at any time (mute/unfollow me, mute csc/seungcheol/scoups etc, mute my rts!) this gets personal so u probably shouldn’t read it if ure just going to clown me in your head.. thank u

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(i said i don't think scoups is ideal)

 

@maknaedol 25 Dec 2018

do u think scoops is performative

 

@maknaedol 25 Dec 2018

LIKE DO U THINK HIS IDEAL BOYFNESS IS AN ACT (to some degree, not entirely)? what specifically makes him not ideal 2 u! 

 

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i used to always call him seungcheol but now i have adopted scoups, scoops etc. i didn’t really do it intentionally but i think it is more detached from a perception that who he is publicly is who he “really is”, in this instance that would be who he is as someone you know personally, how he would be as a boyfriend, bc u wouldn’t date him and only see his public image, you’d have to know him. 

 

scoups is annoying... we all know i think this. but i realize that over text it is hard to know what i mean when i say things. it’s not literally like i think he’s annoying and leave it at surface level... scoups has a lot of character traits and overall they balance out to form his image. and he is a charming, nice, caring, good-hearted person as an idol, and i think most of what he is is great, and i think everyone has room for improvement so i won’t say he shouldn’t change or try to be better, but i don’t truly think that what is “Annoying” about him is really bad. most of the time its petulancy that is endearing. some of the time it is fanservice that is “annoying” because it’s like a tease. no fan has a sizeable chance of dating him especially without knowing him in some separate context from being a fan unless he’s one of Those Idols (and let’s give him the benefit of the doubt and say he isn’t. we don’t have a reason to assume so.) so, he’s nice to fans, and it’s the kind of nice that makes you like him because fans like to be treated that way... fans are people and a lot of them are single so they like to be showered with compliments and be told heart-fluttering, personal things that make them feel loved. don’t think it’s a coincidence that scoups loves to be loved, and loves to love others. he gives what he wants and he is kind. and i mean to say that he knows what fans wants and can/will deliver. but in the end those things are just words and actions (just seunghaengseol - just seungcheol’s actions are heart-fluttering, just things he does to people that most often are genuine, for those people’s sake, and if it’s the members it’s because he loves them that it comes out [or because it’s in front of the camera, so that’s for the fans -] but if it’s towards fans it’s because the fans want that temporary affection and not the natural result of a genuine relationship with someone). and it’s “annoying” because we end up kind of pursuing this affection even though it’s eventually fruitless (if we assume that the end goal of flirting, and loving behaviors is to have a relationship with someone). he does it on purpose because fans like it. it’s a tease we can’t have. although it doesn’t necessarily block people from pursing an actual personal relationship w someone else i’m sure it has an effect. why find someone you have to commit to and get along with when you can have this fan-idol relationship? in many ways it is satisfying some of the same wants. i think we really *crave* affection and love. i am taking this severely out of context but i once heard the description of love that is the desire to want to do things for other people not for the reaction or return they will give you, but simply and purely because you love them. i cannot speak for real seungcheol’s motivations but the persona he gives off surely and explicitly tries to convince us of this - that the motivation for his actions is always the happiness of his fans.

 

i look this over and feel like i’m trying to explain all of his behaviors and effects like its a scientific study or something... no i am not an scoups expert but i am a personal victim (read: i am one example of a fan and have experienced these feelings) of his behaviors so i just want to explain how i feel bc i think there are going to be other people that operate like i do but it doesn’t mean everyone does idk how people think and every day i find that people i thought would think like i do really don’t. it’s not easy to understand people. as time goes on i feel like i understand scoups better but it doesnt mean that i do... who knows if any of this is right.

 

the reason i said i don’t think scoups is ideal is that for me ideal is this image that i personally crafted in my mind of someone that i would want to date. i don’t think it’s a good idea for me to list all of that out but i’ll say what he is missing that i would want. i think he’s too needy sometimes, and i think he’s too open. among other things. those aren’t bad things but it’s about how it would fit in with the kind of person i am. the thing about scoups being an idol and having an idol image is that it becomes easy to dismiss those traits as being bad. i think if you’re really friends/family with someone or really dating someone you have to take them as a whole and you love them for who they are (unless its so bad u need to break up with them or something) but i just mean that it’s easy for me to be critical of the traits he expresses because he is a public figure and chooses to craft that image. i wouldn’t do that for a real person (forgive my wording) and it’s not fair to i think. i think this is easy to say because i am just posting it on this account on the internet and maybe 30 people will read it, maybe a little more but it’s not intended to get to him or anyone near him and without intent in this case it wont. 

 

yes i think he is performative under that definition. to be honest, since seventeen are a family who has known each other for for at least 4 whole years but depending on the individual members up to 7 full years, i have a lot of trust in their dynamics and the way they choose to talk about each other publicly... and many members suggest that the way he acts at home reflects some of the ways he acts around the members irl and because like i say he displays a lot of negative traits idt it can be that much worse than we think it is... hoshi said that becoming an idol made [hoshi] more aware of his actions but didn’t fundamentally change his personality, which makes a lot of sense. there is plenty i don’t know and leave room for doubt and things like that but aaaanyway... actually i think i already answered this question above. i think who scoups is as a person, even “choi seungcheol” is a bit of an illusion, and we’ll never really know what it would be like to know him personally, and it doesn’t matter because we won’t be able to. and that’s okay. 

 

i think he loves kids. maybe part of it is played up for the camera but i think he wants kids eventually. i love that! i love kids and i love people who love kids. plus, wanting kids means you want to get married so you can have a family and support your kids. i wonder if seungcheol is already thinking about who he wants to marry. marry for real, not how he marries carats at every fansign. i wonder if i think too highly of him if i assume he would be a very loyal family man / husband / father etc. it’s hard to say anyway because someone can be a good person now and it doesnt guarantee that the circumstances will allow that to lead to a good adult personality. but again it doesn’t matter because i can think his idol persona would be that good. i can think anything of his idol persona and it doesn’t reflect on his own individuality and freedom to change. 

 

lastly i will reveal this if i have not yet, to most people. i cant remember... part of my ideal type is the idea that you’ve known someone forever and didn’t realize how much you would end up loving them or things about them. on the surface not attracting but when u get to know them... everything changes. that’s the beauty of not being 100% similar to someone else, of someone else not being perfect for you. somehow through all the complication they become that anyway. i love that about how i got into seungcheol. it’s not like i disliked him. i just had no idea i would love him so much.