'your voice on the phone' dvd commentary

[hyojungss]

your voice on the phone: jiho/binnie, 1.7k



i actually have very little to say about the actual text of this fic, but the development process was interesting. first of all i'd wanted to write now, now inspired fic for a very long time and intended it to be this longer piece (~10k) that was encompassing of all my favorite lyrics, and my ideal relationship narrative. but that's too much work... and i am a person who likes to produce fic but there is simply a cost-benefit analysis to follow.



THE PREMISE

this fic is set in 2021, three years post-disbandment, with the moving out taking place the summer after the "flop" release of the secret garden mini album (2018). that's based directly on a recent interview in which seunghee and binnie expressed that they were under pressure for that release to perform well. of course that floppery didn't happen, which is why this is tagged canon divergent.

i don't feel the need to explain the way that i wrote binho here because i already did it in this post, but i am very aware that this fic wont make any sense to other people (crying emoji) just understand my vision. there's absolutely no reason for byb to "like" kjh except for the fact that everyone else in this group is a normie. (maybe i wouldn't call mimi a 'normie' but you get the point.) kim jiho independent woman bae yoobin dried fish any questions? but it's like this is so much more complicated than calling it a crush which is why i hate labeling relationships in my fic. like to me it's about the longing to be understood by someone, the relationship between understanding and intimacy etc etc

this is the third fic i wrote for binho that covers a post-disbandment period. (see: after the spotlight fades and i don't think i could stand to be where you don't see me.) i think its interesting to think about the evolution of my perception of their future fic relationship as the real years went by. i really don't think they'd be antagonistic but i do think they'll be awkward LOL it all comes back to their intense communication issues.

the major theme of this fic is looking. looking at someone doesn't require reciprocation or acknowledgement from the other side, the way physical touch does.

incidentally i just want to comment that there's no real-life evidence that the feelings described in this fic exist but if they were to then this is what it would look like. i feel the need to clarify my stance after recent events involving dw LOL



A LOVE LETTER TO NOW, NOW

this fic is largely based on dead oaks, with hints of prehistoric, oh. hi., and can't help myself. but the risa tonyang cinematic universe is generally influenced by these songs so i thought it was worth writing them out. please listen (heart emoji)

1. Dead Oaks

I can't feel your bones, but I can see them
And I can't call you up without a reason
I can take a thousand miles
And I can drive for hours
To your house in the summer
But I could stay for longer
If you wanted me to

I've been up
And I don't sleep enough
And I know we don't talk as much
But I can hear you still

But I can hear your voice on the phone
When you're up all alone
In your room
'Cause I am up too

2. Prehistoric

I'll say that I've been trying to move on
We both know I'm not

I would trade this sleep for you in a heartbeat

Each day you come closer
So close I can almost feel your breath on my shoulders
But I know if I turn around you might run away again

3. Oh. Hi.

You don't have to go, you could come inside
But you don't tell me when you sleep at night
You could come into my room if you'd like
But I won't make a sound if you turn the light

I've been gone for much too long

You silly girl, you're just too far
But you can come to me if you want

4. Thread

A hint of light in the dark
Only enough to keep from giving up
If I could go back to the start
To break the pattern forming between us

5. Magnet

We were sleeping inside your house for several weeks
On the mattress side by side though we would never speak

Can you still feel the pull, can you?

6. SGL

Don't get me wrong, I hear your reasons
You get along over the weekends
But I've got it bad, yeah, I'm not sleeping
And every time I hear her name, my heart is breaking

Every time we talk all night
You've only got one foot in the river, baby, why?
If only I could read your mind
You've got your finger on the trigger, baby
Give in to me

Starry-eyed
I was young and undone
But I could have died
With you there in the sun

7. Can't Help Myself

I was drinking in the daylight
I was looking for a way to tell you
That without you I don't feel right
Killing myself just to understand you

I'll make it easy for you, baby
Remove myself from your equation
I've been overthinking lately

How could I see you with anyone but me?
How could I see you with anyone?

8. Window

Don't you know I'm desperate for you?
Every night I'm at your window
Wonder when you're gonna let me in

Each day you hide me from a summer sun
Each day you're hiding me from everyone
But that's the way I like it

9. Yours

If I had my way, I would be yours
(Oh, I would be yours)
You say my name, I had no choice
Baby, it's time to get comfortable