letters to everyone

[hyojungss]

i tried to do this in 2014 but i never finished it also i went back to look at it and it was more cringey so I'm kinda glad i never did. last year also, i wanted to write real letters to everyone but i broke my promise. this year I'm trying something easier.

i wrote something for all my everyaftrn mutuals (everyone here, I've at least known since may i believe.) and a handful of haengseol mutuals and . one extra. i feel that doing it without directing it to people lets me be a little more honest in a different way..my inhibitions are nonexistent lol. bc i dont exactly have to worry about how the sincerity is responded to. you dont have to say anything back you know? i dont expect everyone to read this. you don't have to.

when i went to everyaftrn and haengseol a lot of things changed. what writing this taught me is i have a lot of mutuals i lost touch with and i want in 2018 to get closer to everyone. I'll make my best effort.

ps i did this on my phone so i can't tell exactly how wordy it is but i know it is classic risa n pls forgive the formatting bc i played w cut and paste to fake randomize it..the emojis are random identifiers that look nice on my phone.. ALSO I RLY HOPE I DIDN'T FORGET ANYONE THAT D/Ad....

to: everyone

thank you for being so kind to me this year. it's made it a year I'm incredibly grateful for despite the difficult times. i feel that I've grown a lot and I'm thankful for all of you.

to: 🍋

i feel it, that in the last quarter of the year we got ever so closer and it makes me really happy. i think earlier we were kinda sorta talking to each other sometimes but it wasn't that intense or anything. but later on we had some more in common and we got to talk lots more and i just came to like you a lot. and i hope 2018 brings us closer.mp3 too and that we can have more fun together. you're really nice and talented too and i want to know you even better.

to: 🍑

hi! i really don't know you well and i wish i did. mb if i was less afraid to reply to your tweets. which is not a you problem its me! but it excites me that we have the same groups in common and i rly hope that we can talk sometime soon... you seem nice and i love making friends .. i have hopes for the future!

to: 🎆

it has been a long time since we talked! i think it is hard because we don't have a lot in common right now but I always liked what you had to say and also your cheery attitude! i see what you say sometimes and it's really nice to me (although i am less invested in what i used to be i still care for sure) and i hope that mb... when something new comes out we can talk about it!️

to: 💐

hm i kinda hope you don't read this LOL. it's because i feel so indebted to you ... talking abt this vaguely is a bit difficult but what you wrote meant a lot to me, more than i even thought it would because even now i think about it and i think it's silly to get that worked up about it, but if i told you as much I'm sure you wouldn't say that but smile and say it was a good thing. not that i really know. I can't tell anyone else about this though. it just, and everything that's happened since has made me so excited and happy... i really hope you feel the same way. not just me but i can tell a lot of other people became happier because you made the first move so to speak. you're really so nice and i kinda see you as a role model for a few different reasons too. getting close... it's hard! i think maybe when people are too admirable to me i get shy and can't get comfortable as much as I'd like. but i do hope we can be real friends.

to: 🎁

hello!! to you too i really wish i could know you. i did talk to you sometimes but we're not online much at the same time. i haven't seen you around in a while and it was a bit disappointing but ofc i know you have other things going on in life!! i hope you're doing well, however you're doing and that you'll stop by again soon!

to: 🐰

AHHH!! YOU!!!!!! you know me really well lol. you know exactly what to say to get me to react and you also know im head over heels for whatever you say.... dfjfjdjdjsk but. yes anyways I'm so thankful to know you, and that we are friends and that you indulge me with whatever i like and that you keep dragging me into new ones. bc as i say you can predict the future when it comes to rising.... .. i don't always know how you're doing in life, i hope it's okay and i want to make an effort to ask u more often how things are. i rly wish the best for u there and i want to support you however possible, if it is possible.

to: ⛸️

i rly don't know you at all and im ... i wish i had made the effort to reach you earlier. the only thing is i have no idea if it's reciprocated haha i had a stress time thinking about that. but i was told you are nice and you really seem to be lovely... i want to know all about you just from what you've shared. from what i know based on your actions you're talented and helpful and i hope i can get to know you next year!!

to: 💎

i say this every time but in fact you never received the letter i wrote for you last year so maybe you don't know. my life was changed probably more than anyone else's impact by you over the past few years.. perhaps we can say that in an alternate universe i still may have met these people without you but the experience wouldnt have been half as good. you make things fun, you're always encouraging and in truth drove me to do things I wouldn't have done without you... i feel that this year we were more distant even so because we were both busy. i hope desperately you have an easier time of it soon. thank you, as ive said, for everything.

️

to: 🌅

I've only just gotten to know you so i hope you don't read this lol. we'll see what happens next year, i really hope we can get close. I'm sensing it now but I don't want to count my chickens yet. my first impression was so off - we can talk about it later lol,, but I don't even know you yet... but i really want to. also. thank you so much already, you've done for me what few others have and it really filled me with such joy. i really appreciate being reached out to and in such a specific way... it makes me feel like we have a connection

to:🍰

you're really nice. i don't know you well but everything you say is just ... it's kind or it's funny or it's driven by passion for who you care about. i can tell you're well liked for a reason. rly admire that and im glad to have you in my life - i hope 2018 brings the best for you! and i hope we can talk more because i want to get to know you.

to: 🍦

it meant a lot to me this year that you talked to me so much and you really, deeply cared about the things i would say to you, not because of what i said but because i was saying them. i always felt that way about what you said. even when i felt alone you made it so that i wasnt. i learned to expect a certain level of things and not take things personally and that meant i was pleasantly surprised when i got to know more and i felt special but rather than that i felt like i had a really special relationship. i learned so much from you though i think... and i think knowing you drove me to be a better person. you are really so kind. i want to say more but i feel like all has been said already. I'm so happy when you say you're satisfied with where you are in life regarding how you know yourself and i want to be like that too. oh i have to add this. thank you for telling me to make friends lol..idk if you remember but you did all throughout the year.. even when it hasn't worked out i /remember/ those moments of trying and am so glad i did. when it has it's changed my life for the better. thank you for the advice and the encouragement and being there for me.

to: 🎉

i hope you're doing well.. I'm sorry it's been such a while since i contacted you ugh. but i can see how you're doing elsewhere and it rly makes me happy to known it seems to be working out and you're happy. I've been envious of that before haha your great ability to reach out to ppl and connect with them. it's something i struggled with from the start and you were always good at it and taking daring risks and you always encouraged me to be outgoing too. meeting you feels like a dream now. like i can hardly believe things were like that once. i feel like we should be in totally different life circles lol... i really hope you have a good holiday season and year ahead of you...

to: 🏖️

we also...! haven't spoken much! but what i see on my timeline... it always makes me smile coming from you. i mean it, there is an aura around you that is really nice. i wish i could know you better. I don't know how it will happen but i believe stating this intent, it's enough to change my mindset and my actions. haha. so, I don't know what you're up to lately but i wish the best for whatever it is.

to: 🐱

it has been a long time!! I don't know what you're up to... i assume you're busy and i understand. i also know because enough time has passed that maybe our interests don't overlap enough anymore for us to be as close as i once thought, but that's okay. i mean i dont wanna accept that exactly but i understand no matter how it works out! you were always nice and friendly to me and it made me feel warmed and welcome esp at a time where it counted a lot. what you said to me meant a lot. and we have a number of things in common too! i hope we have the chance to talk again, really...

to: 🌴

hey. i have no idea how to say anything to you without giving away who you are lol. but ... it has always astounded me how we can relate so much to each other and yet we're really different. but i see a lot of myself in you, acknowledging the differences. i said this to you before, so if you remember (honestly theres a decent chance you forgot) but this year too i am sure you have helped me more than i can help you. i wish i could do more for you. thank you for always making me laugh and always being easy to reach out to, for taking my words well and responding in good fun.

to: 🍃

we met each other a long time ago ... even then i think that you or i, one of us made the effort to reach out to the other. and i think it was you. i am so thankful that since then we were able to keep in touch the way i really haven't with a lot of people and especially considering the differences in our current interests lol.. but what has always stood above all is your constant kindness and encouragement and thought for others. i could always go to you for advice - i still do and i told you before that it feels as if I'm taking advantage of you because I can't help you back but you assured me that you were happy to help. congratulations for all you've achieved this year - I'm so glad i got to know you even better, let's be friends for a long time. I've said this too (many times and we both know it'll never happen) but - once i get my life together we'll be able to bond over fun things again. you making the effort to get interested in what i like touched me a lot too.

to: 🥞

we have a lot of similar thoughts️ and habits, as i think about it. when I'm feeling cynical sometimes i look to you to see if you agree haha. we don't always agree but thats life. i am grateful for all you do- you make an effort to do things and be useful to others. it's something i see in myself and we've talked about it, the desire being dependent on our own emotional investment. and i wish for the both of us it gets better. this past year i felt so sorry to feel your struggles. i wish so much i could take it away from you and i wish i could help. i hope everything we want comes true in fan terms and for both of us to be successful individually too. I want to be happier with you!

to: 🍿

i like you so much loool. it's really been the best year because of you. i honestly dont know what i wouldve done without someone else to ... with and rely on for that. actually even when you weren't into the same thing as me while it was a bit disappointing i got over it bc i still liked you as a person. and then the best thing happened (((: hahahaha but yes i want to thank you for that happiness. im so lucky lucky lucky i got to meet you figuratively speaking. it is a great blessing to have someone so similar (in interests) to me and to grow in the love for who i like with you. so much happened this year i cannot even mention it all but thank you for all of it. honestly hope we can meet up for real sometime soon. tbh it might be a bit difficult for me to arrange which is why i didnt try last time but it would be a waste for us not to if we can...

to: 💚

hm i dont know where to start with this one. mb bc the first thing that came to my mind is something I'm anticipating but don't want to talk about in this lol. i see myself in you, but the both of us have gone through things that are really so different. and we have very different personalities too i think haha. but, i think we're pretty close. i guess it's some kind of borderline if i said pretty. but of what... I'm always excited to do things with you and to have things in common w u and i want to get even closer. but idk if you could believe how much better you've made my life. i have told you before though so i hope you know it, you deserve to know how much of a blessing you've been for me, and for us. this the blandest message ever but I'll make it up to you later. i wish for your happiness always.

to:📣

oh it is so hard to know what to say! to be honest i have absolutely no idea what you think of me and it scares me... but i hope you've stuck around bc you want to and not bc of obligation. i swear i love reading what you have to say, i followed you for a reason and i wish i could talk to you but im rly scared lol. i hope you're doing well!! and my wish is that something happens that'll let us get to talk to each other! it rly is hard sometimes for me to approach ppl or to know when to like their tweets and all but,, i wish telepathically that you would know i want to.

to:🎨

although.... you are younger than me in some ways you are much more experienced and have been through a lot more than me. it really interests me to see bits and pieces of that side of things from what you share. i thought you were so kind and sweet and a joy and i just remember being so happy then... and I'm so excited for the future. i never imagined what would have happened this year and I'm looking forward to the possibilities. thank you for being friendly and I'm ... more than anything I'm happy. i hope you have a happy end of the year!

to: 📻

I haven't talked to you in a really long time... I'm so sorry that it is hard to know what to say here as i feel like anyone i mutual on everyaftrn i should really know better than this and especially you. being that we haven't spoken in a while I'll just say.... in the past you were really nice to me and always a great presence, always enthusiastic and helpful and passionate and i hope there's a chance for us to interact again.

to:🐧

hey... it's kinda weird writing this one, cause it seems premature and yet it's so funny, i met you a long time ago. and i want to say like... i really admire you and i was surprised by how friendly you were right away, not because you gave me a cold impression but i didn't really know what to expect and that's something about how i never rly knew you at all before? anyway i... am really grateful for that and that i have started to get to know you better! i love reading what you tweet... it was really exciting for me, because there aren't a lot of my friends that have those same interests ... and for too long it was hard for me to reach out to others. I still feel like it's hard sometimes to speak without inhibition but i hope 2018 brings great things for the both of us.

to:🍏

it means a lot to me that i got to be friends with you. i really feel lucky that you like me haha... and that you're always willing to do things with me. you being around always makes things more fun. i always feel the love you have for other people and the passion you have for what you do... i wish the best for your health, i know you're strong and i hate to see you talk about having a hard time, i know you laugh it off sometimes to make it not a big deal but it must be difficult. i want to have the opportunity to meet you next year... ❤️ there were some close calls this time but ultimately I'm excited to still have that meeting to look forward to in the future. thank you for the happiness and friendship you've given me.

to:📷

i really, really hope you're doing well. sometimes now I think that if i had done things differently we would be closer now. it is hard to say what i want, because there are difficulties... i think circumstances were hard. this year was brighter and better for me with you in it and i really hope i can continue to talk to you and know you however it works out. i hate that this is such a depressing message!!! I'll make it my 2018 res to talk to you lots and i hope we can play games together too, or something, anything. miss you a lot.

to: 🏞️

i felt a bit more distant from you this year i think... there was a long time you were away and that worried me a lot but I'm glad you're okay now. I'm glad you found your priorities and all and I'm really wishing for the best. we're really in the same place in life right now. a lot of my friends here are not my age but from the start you've been here and going thru it with me and.. we've always had times when we didn't communicate but then we always managed to reconnect :’) and we've gone through sooo many shared interests together. i always wish for your happiness and I'm so glad to hear how you're doing and i just hope everything works out for you atm and that sometime in the near future we can do something fun together, it's really been a while.

to: 🍈

when you said you had wanted to get to know me better i felt so warm. there were a lot of hopes i had since the beginning and in the end or now at least i honestly feel guilty, like i should have done the whole thing over. i wish i could. but i still, no matter what hope i can talk to you again and get to know you better too. i think it is another victim of circumstance. honestly I'm a little bit worried so I'm sending all of my love until we can talk again.

to: 🐏

hey hey! i always always always admired you from the start... there were so many things I couldn't believe you had done and it surprised me, i thought, how could anyone be like you? even now it surprises me what you can do. and you're really hardly older than me. i keep forgetting that.... so... i wonder if i can follow in those footsteps. more importantly i cherish all the time i can spend doing things with u. it's really so fun and i think we have a connection in the sense that the both of us are........ hm, at the least i will say we have a shocking amt of common interests. like we def have differences and i would say we have different life outlooks but at any rate i am just so lucky i got to know you. you're really someone i care about when it comes to everything you do, it interests me. i hope you have the time of your life this year.

to:🌾

it means a lot to me that you like me too haha. i just... you're different i think in that im not used to how you are but it's good to have that kind of presence in my life. i admire you for what you have done and are unafraid to do and it is hard to believe you are afraid of anything. i think we are huge opposites and that is why it is so great that i know you anyway... i wonder if i will ever be like you but when i expressed that i think you assured me that it would all turn out alright and it makes me a lot less afraid to grow up. thank you for always being there for me.

to:✨

hm how to start. it is hard to start when it is hard for me to actually start a convo with these ppl, it's harder to call up natural words for what to say... and i cant say why. ah. you are responsible for one thing this year that made a lot of our lives more fun. really idk if I've thanked you for that enough. or at all. but like on a personal level i'm really glad to know you. you are always so thoughtful, concerned for others and passionate about that. and it is something that has definitely had an effect on me. you're funny and the things you say are all interesting and i learn a lot no matter what the topic... sometimes i wish i could understand all of it, i know I'm not getting the full picture. I'm really happy i get to know how you've been doing, like i really am and although talking to you one on one feels difficult im rly so glad we are friends like this.

to: 🚩

we never quite knew each other but i'm guilty of cutting myself off for some time. i rly hope you don't hold it against me- ofc i get it if you do- and I'm excited for what the future brings, hopefully the best for us and ... and I'd love to know you better, you really seem so sweet.

to: 🐳

i truly can't imagine my life without you lol. you help me through all the hard times and every single step of the way this year, the good and the bad you were right there . i hope I've been like that for you. i feel i have known you my whole life, though it's been so far from that. i think maybe because of that there is not much i can say to you here- what I've been saying is things i was afraid to say to others but there is hardly anything that applies to you, except the really cheesy things which is why that's what this is. i hope we're lifetime friends. i don't know if that's possible and imagining it not be hurts me lol but we'll take it one day at a time. and... thanks a lot for being so... it was when i was really desperate and you with what sounded like impulse said you would do it and I couldn't believe my eyes. and it ended up being one of the best...

to:🍝

akfjsjf it's hard to know what to say... this is like when i try to talk to you for real idk why. i always hope you're doing well, both of us have been busy/stressed/preoccupied this year and i know we haven't talked much.. i hope that changes soon. you always especially recently make the effort to make other people feel comfortable and happy it's so admirable... you work really hard and i envy it... i hope you find success in everything you want to do,, idk if we can get that much closer but I don't not want to!

to:🔔

i really doubt you'll read this but I'll say something short. i am so thankful to you for being so excitable and passionate and being unafraid of hiding it bc it's how we got to talking and I'd have been so afraid to do it without your openness. i wonder if we'll get to know each other better this year. i hope so. i get so excited too, talking to you, and looking forward to what's next, it's contagious.

to:🐄

you too,, I'm a bit nervous around because i made a mistake a while back. but it's super exciting to me that we have a lot in common and it makes me want to care about everything else you care about too. please i hope that 2018 brings everything we want and that we can be friends!

to: 🎀

you!!!! you!! i miss you a lot. it's not like we never talk or cant talk so i dont say this out loud but i miss you. I don't know whats different but i feel disconnected. and it's probably my fault for not reaching out while i can. I'll make it my 2018 res to talk to you whenever i want. you must have meant a lot to me for ....... to happen and for everyone to know and yet i feel like it's gone now. maybe it's our interests diverging but i think it's really you forging your own path in life and me feeling left behind because I haven't reached that yet. i hope you're happy, it always makes me sad when you're sad and when you're displeased and i wish i could help. there is a lot I can't do from such a distance and those are spots of your life I can't fill regardless. I'm so excited for you and your desire to know new things and fearlessness and outgoingness it's like the opposite of who i am as a person. even now i want to do what you've done and I've been encouraged to but I'm just afraid. but I'm taking baby steps. anyway... i am always thinking of you and i hope to see you someday soon. i wanted to sooner but you're truly doing great things rn ❤