king of scars favorite lines

[hyojungss]

you know an author is good when you're highlighting a paragraph WHILE YOU'RE READING IT.

2 ZOYA
"What an excellent valet you make," he murmured. But she knew he hated submitting to these small attentions, hated that he was weak enough to require them.

• zoyalai vulnerable to each other (smiling face with three hearts emoji) 

Nikolai was always freer with compliments when he was fatigued. It was true, she did look splendid, even after a harrowing night, but Zoya knew the king couldn't care less about her appearance.

• i love how both zoya and nikolai are canonically super attractive but the relationship they have with each other/who one is to the other is a position where it's not supposed to matter, and they've been like this for so long that there's no reason to assume the other would notice it at all

<Nikolai> "How pretty?"
<Zoya> "Who cares?"
"Not me, certainly. But two years working with you has worn away my pride. I want to make sure I won't spend my life watching other men ogle my wife."
"If they do, you can have them beheaded."
"The men or my wife?" said Nikolai.
"Both. Just make sure to get her dowry first."
"Ruthless."
"Practical. If we stayed another night--"
"Zoya, I can't very well court a bride if there's a chance I may turn her into dinner."

• part 1 of a trio of passages... chapter 2 is such a good representation of their dynamic, that even though there are such banters scattered throughout the book none of them are as potent. anyway, see here how nikolai basically says that although she is his (general) he notices other people (men) looking at zoya and doesn't like the feeling. it also's got the dark humor to it where they joke about death and ultimately the political motivations behind everything they must do even if it's outwardly romance. and then the reason i called this 1/3 is because nikolai calls zoya "ruthless" and zoya in return says she's "practical". just... hear me out.

<Nikolai> "I cannot forge a marriage founded on lies."
<Zoya> "Aren't most?"
"Ever the romantic."
"Ever practical."

• this is actually really interesting given nikolai's decision at the end of the book..... i really really wanna know what the implications of that marriage are because pining for someone married is NOT sustainable. anyway! here we have nikolai making fun of zoya's pessimism by calling her romantic (facetiously) and again she retaliates with the practical descriptor. so that's part 2. nikolai, as you see, is the romantic. the one who doesn't want to trick someone into a marriage with he who turns into a monster against his will and force her to have to take care of him! but zoya knows that in her position she has the responsibility to override those emotions!

Zoya ruffled her hair, let her kefta slip from one shoulder, and eased into the king's arms. The charade was necessary, and it was an easy role to play, sometimes too easy.
He buried his face in her hair, inhaling deeply. "How is it I smell like goose shit and cheap whiskey and you smell like you just ran through a meadow of wildflowers?"
"Ruthlessness."

• part 3 (heart emoji) nikolai called her ruthless before, and now she is calling back to that (heart emoji) also can we just talk about the false intimacy going on here.... or not talk about it but just stew in it... the illusion of intimacy for the sake of distracting those that see it, therefore it isn't really intimate... intimacy that they should not really have because of their positions for their own good.... and clearly it is not that they cannot have partners at all but just that it would not make sense for the two of them to actually be together/with feelings... the desire to have what u cannot... oh the layers... 

Zoya felt Nikolai tense. She was both touched and annoyed that he thought she cared what some buffoon believed, but there was no need to play at chivalry tonight.

• I LOVE IT WHEN THEY VISIBLY REACT TO ATTACKS ON EACH OTHER. attack here being a comment on zoya. omg i love the duality of zoya happy nikolai might care about her feelings vs the pride in her self-security and her image and the strength of being unaffected 

It would be too easy to let her eyes close, to rest her head against his chest and give into the illusion of comfort. But the price for such indulgence would be too high.

• IT WOULD BE SO EASY. omg. that's going on my list of future fic titles for real

"Marry. Forge an alliance. Make an heir. Secure the throne and Ravka's future."
"I will," he said wearily. "I'll do all of it. But not tonight."
[...]
<Nikolai>"We'll tell each other lies as married couples do. It will be a good game. Go on, wife. Tell me I'm a handsome fellow who will never age and who will die with all of his own teeth in his head. Make me believe it."
<Zoya> "I will not."
"I understand. You've never had a talent for deception."

• first they play as lovers and then they play as spouses. anyway the purpose behind this is nikolai's need for escape!! T____T isn't it lovely? he's looking for her to convince her that things will be ok even though there are a ton of problems that it's his (and her) responsibility to fix and that it won't be easy. 

Falsehoods were inevitable, maybe even necessary between a husband and wife. A general and her king could ill afford them.

• i'm like TT.... just like TT...... there are not falsehoods told through this book about how they feel for each other it is simply not asking questions that would require lies for answers. not reaching out in the first place for honest inquiry and hiding it all behind banter and roleplay. 

3 NINA
He was broad-shouldered and humorless and reminded her painfully of Matthias.
He's nothing like me. What a bigot you are, Nina Zenik. Not all Fjerdans look alike.

• T___T honestly didn't feel much for matthias but this line gave him, through nina such a punchy voice.. but this is a reflection of grief, i think... everything reminds you of what you lost, even if the connection is objectively tenuous. nina coping with humor too..

Maybe she should have cared; maybe some part of her did. Nina's power was frightening, a corruption of the Heartrender power she had been born with, twisted by parem. And still it had become dear to her. Matthias had accepted the dark thing in her and encouraged her to do the same--but what Nina felt was not acceptance. It was love.

• love twisted girls...

6 NIKOLAI
"I need to keep Genya happy," said Nikolai, "or she may turn on me."
"I may turn on you," said Zoya.
"Oh, that's unavoidable. But you're immune to compliments."

• but what would zoya turn on him for..... omg also i love how zoya is Like That ^ because it proves that she's not easily swayed and that makes what does it very significant

<Zoya> "Your hesitation is distinctly unkingly. It isn't like you."
It wasn't. He excelled at decisions.

• so.... why hesitate! :) ;)

He'd never quite managed to make himself immune to her beauty, and he was glad his arms were chained to the bed or he might have been tempted to reach for her.

• [seungcheol_lying_on_floor.jpg]
• [wonwoo_lying_on_couch.jpg]
• this is so beautiful juxtaposed with zoya's "he couldnt care less what i look like" this is what i mean they don't say these things to each other yet there are no lies

He would not beg Zoya to stay. It was not in his nature to plead with anyone, and that was not the pact they shared. They did not look to each other for comfort. They kept each other marching. They kept each other strong. So he would not find another excuse to get her talking again.

• TT______TT to be king in your early twenties and have to not show weakness and fear even to your closest allies

7 ZOYA
But with her luck the king would ignore the suitable prospective brides she'd found, fall for a common housemaid, and insist on marrying for love. It was just the kind of contrary, romantic nonsense he was prone to.

• CAN THIS PLEASE BE FORESHADOWING FOR ZOYALAI'S MARRIAGE FOR LOVE. it reads so obviously like it that i will be very upset if this is not how it ends

8 NINA
She wished Inej were here beside her, that the Wraith were somewhere in all this silence. Nina longed for her stillness, her kindness.

• i want 2 see her... inej i miss you too!!! i must say that the crows are a family.... i do miss that from this book

Like so much of Fjerda, this place was desolate and empty, the little towns like flowers, unlikely blooms in the snow.

• prettiest line

War hadn't done it. Captivity. Torture. But loss was something different, because she saw no end to it, only the far horizon, stretching on and on.

• i feel like this captures loss so well

I love you, she told him, trying not to think of the graceless sound of the soil, like the rattle of shrapnel, like sudden bursts of rain. I loved you.

• I'm like TT... just like TT............................................................................

9 NIKOLAI
Zoya had been silent through the meeting thus far, hovering by the samovar with crossed arms. Keeping her distance. He knew he needed to apologize to her, but for once in his ridiculous life, he was completely at a loss for words.

• the idea of apologizing for something u did when u werent in control is rly something. i don't think apology is the right word although it certainly has to be acknowledged. anyway love how nikolai master of words had none because it was that important how zoya was spoken to about this

He straightened the lapels of his velvet coat and winked.
"It's not exciting if nothing can go wrong."

• summary of the whole book!

11 ZOYA
<Nikolai> "Progress is a river. It cannot be called back once it leaps its banks."


14 ZOYA
There were times like this, when they worked side by side, when the rhythm between them was so easy that her mind would turn traitor. She would look at the tousle of Nikolai's gilded head bent over some correspondence or his long fingers tearing into a roll and she would wonder what it would be like when he finally married, when he belonged to someone else, and she lost these moments of peace.
Zoya would still be Nikolai's general, but she knew it would be different. He would have someone else to tease and lean on and argue over the herring with. She'd made men fall in love with her before, when she was young and cruel and liked to test her power. Zoya did not desire; she was desired. And that was the way she liked it. It was galling to admit that she wasn't at all sure she could make Nikolai want her, and more galling to think that a part of her longed to try, to know if he was as impervious to her beauty as he seemed, to know if someone like him, full of hope and light and optimistic endeavor, could love someone like her.

• I find it fascinating zoya describes them as moments of peace rather than moments of happiness. they're not at the stage where they srsly want each other yet TT they havent allowed it of themselves... but really how horrid it would be for him to be attached to someone else because when he's single it's okay to have the traitorous thoughts if u keep it to urself but it would be much more dangerous after... zoya wants to play the game but its just her unaware how close in a different way she would want to be with him (if it was even a possibility in her mind!)

25 ZOYA
<Elizaveta> "You'd give him up so readily?"
Now Zoya's brows rose in surprise. "He isn't mine to keep."
[...]
"I see the way his eyes follow you."
Was something in Zoya pleased at that? Something foolish and proud? "Men have been watching me my whole life. It's not worth taking note of."

• this too is not a moment of weakness zoya is as rational as ever and doesnt fall prey to cliche tropes of love over sacrifice

But the world was cruel to kind girls, and she'd always appreciated that Nikolai didn't ask that of her. Why would he? Nikolai spoke of partnerships and allies, but he was a romantic. He wanted love of a kind Zoya could not give and would never receive.

• this here goes beyond position though!!! it is clearly a statement from zoya about the type of people they are and her perceived romantic incompatibility with him

27 NIKOLAI
"Don't worry, I haven't written you a love letter." She turned her face to the fire. Was even the mention of love too much for Zoya's ruthless sensibilities?

• i love how dense nikolai is. also the ruthless descriptor is back!

Zoya gazed into the fire, her expression troubled. "Why is it so easy for you to contemplate your death?"
"I'd rather look at a thing squarely than let it catch me by surprise." He grinned. "Don't tell me you'd miss me."
Zoya looked away again.

• nikolai coping by joking. omg i love how zoya asks a perfectly reasonable question and nikolai turns into what, although it is a joke, is effectively a revelation of weakness for her. because sentimentality in a world where it only gets in the way. i feel like nikolai can look straight at her and mask what he feels through insincerity/joking and zoya at this point has to avoid being transparent

An unwelcome bolt of desire shot through him, and then he saw--along the smooth skin of her back lay eight long, furrowed scars.

• JUST ONE BOLT????????????????????????????????? leigh you're too stingy... really... more could have been done with this

28 NINA
How the Fjerdans loved their propriety, but she had started to wonder if they loved to make their rules simply for the thrill of breaking them.

• oh how clearly a commentary on modern day principles

30 NIKOLAI
Because he was most likely about to die, he let himself cup his hand briefly to her extraordinary face. Her skin felt cool against his fingers.
"Of course I'll come back," he said. "I don't trust anyone else to deliver my eulogy."
A smile curled her lips. "You've written it already?"
"It's very good. You'd be surprised how many synonyms there are for handsome."
Zoya closed her eyes. She turned her face, letting her cheek rest against his palm. "Nikolai--"
[...]
Zoya released his hand and stepped away. He desperately wanted to pull her back into his arms and ask her what she'd intended to say.

• THAT ONE MOMENT. i have to complain forward now, and say that for the scare of nikolai's death, well, we all knew he wasn't going to die but zoya didn't, and nikolai didn't so i wish there had been more contemplation there. like what if it really was the end??? u werent going to overthink the relationship right in front of you? that's fair but then what about when you ended up living!! NO WE DID IT KISS??? these people are too rigid for me TT_____TT its like nikolai and zoya almost die but make it out alive and then they just take it like it was supposed to happen and move on with their lives without what i feel was a natural reflection on what exactly happened... and maybe i really am a sucker for what happens in isolated places but they could have had more relationship development there. so maybe it really isn't just the issue of their positions but that internally they won't let themselves act in such a way with the other at all. do you get what i mean with this distinction? if they had done anything or even been more honest with each other after the battle went down there was like literally no one but the monk to see this occur, and they were far removed enough from the royal proceedings that it would have been fitting. but i just hope this feeling of regret will be alleviated when the sequel comes out and the relationship trajectory exceeds my best expectations
• anyway regarding the actual quote: this, already, is a step beyond where they were at alskjdlkfjsdkf the prolonged physical contact not for the sake of being seen and not under pretenses but simply because they have a close relationship and because they wanted to give each other hope AND because they wanted to indulge one last time in each other's company in the fear that they never would again. it's really quite generous of them to do this for us. also, i love how zoya is the one to let go because she's the more practical one. also, i love how nikolai talks (thinks) of pulling zoya into his arms, like the reaching desire from before, so representative of the distance they keep between each other and the need to impulsively or relatively quickly bridge the gap or else they'll separate from each other again out of practicality. 

32 ZOYA
Take it then, she told him. I am strong enough to survive the fall.

• zoya you really are a queen

39 ZOYA
<Ehri> "You truly mean to keep me here?"
<Nikolai> "Oh, indeed. Not as my prisoner but as my queen."
Zoya was surprised at the way those words pricked at--what? Her heart? Her pride? She had known this end was inevitable. It was the course she had fought and harangued for. So why did she feel like she'd left her flank open yet again?

•  T________TTTTTTTTTTTT i cannot at all see how this will end well like a fairytale. i wouldn't want that for zoyalai anyway but i'll really be mad if it doesn't end well!!!!! there's a tricky balance between realism and overindulgence and leigh did it well for kanej i want it for zoyalai too pleaseeeeee u have to throw us a bone but also sell it properly... i'm sure she will... but there are no guarantees in the world... crying emoji...